spanx

Comedy routine - SPANX
Getting ready for Mitch’s 45th birthday party.
Wearing Spanz…can’t breathe but everything looks sooo smooth. Spanx are really a girdle in the shape of a slip, Spanx it sounds cute and is the hip new young thing. Packaged sexy and everyone has to have one. Bought one in black and nude. It holds up your tush…looks hot. Would love to have the nerve to walk out of the house in just that…but. since I’m one of the “mother figures” at the party, I suppose I will put on some clothes over it. So first you put on bra and pants, then pantyhose, then the spanx slip and then your “for real” clothes. I am wearing a Channel Suit that my friend Carol said I HAD to have, about 15 years ago.
It was a fashion mistake and I’ve maybe worn it 3 times, but so appropriate for the evening that I wore it anyway. It’s definitely for a different figure type than mine…someone with no boobs and no waist. Oh well, I’ll look elegant I’m sure…its just that sitting down in it is going to be another thing altogether. . It’s going to be painful. I actually dieted for 2 days so that it wouldn’t be pulling so much. Down to102 on my scale 103 1/2 on Ron’s scale, I like my scale better.

We will be standing up having wine first. The trick is having just enough wine to relax…not get mad…. And just enough appetizers to balance the wine …so you don’t fall over or get too stuffed.
Feel like a bitch complaining cause this is certainly a privileged life, however, one must figure out how to remain dignified and jolly and all the while the spanx is cutting off my circulation and reminding me of the girdles I wore in the 50s, when I was 140 lbs and needed one ,and now ,I am remembering why I HATED the clothes of the 50s and always had a pained look on my face.